Executive and Leadership Coach
Sometimes I get stuck. I was in a coaching session the other day and the coach put it perfectly: when the way is blocked, the block is the way.
Sometimes I’m so fixated on what I think is the ideal outcome, that I stop paying attention to what I’m doing in the moment. Often, when I start paying attention to what is actually happening rather than what I HOPE will happen, a new way presents itself. What do you do when you get stuck?
What decision do you KNOW you have to make, but you’re not making it? Ask yourself: what is the outcome you want? And then ask yourself: What uncomfortable feelings are coming up?
Chances are high that there’s a good reason you’re avoiding the decision.
Stop listening to input. Instead,
focus on what those feelings are trying to tell you. Once you listen to their message, the decision may become easier to make.
Maybe that’s something for your next coaching conversation?
Please Like and Repost this if you find it thought-provoking. #cartoons#coachingmemes#lightwalkercoaching#lightwalkercoach #businesshumour
There’s been a meme doing the rounds, a little like this one. At the top it says: “I want to do this.” Then there’s a green block underneath that says: Do It.
In the second column, there’s a grey block that says: “But I’m scared,” and underneath that, there’s a green block (where my purple block is) that says: “Do it scared.”
I don’t get it. There may be some exhilaration in doing something scary and succeeding. But the fact is, fear will diminish performance. Doing things scared is no way to live. I don’t want to fly in an airplane piloted by somebody who faces an unknown situation and flies into it scared.
I’m going into hospital next week. I do not want the surgeon to look at my body on the table, be nervous about the procedure, and “do it scared.”
I do not want to terrorise my teams into “doing things scared.” My job as a leader is to remove the fear, not to ignore it.
If I get told: “I know you’re scared. Ignore the fear. Just do it,” I see the person talking as a bully, not as an inspirational leader.
Fear has an important message. It deserves to be listened to. That’s where courage lives. When we respect the fear enough to listen to its message. When we listen to the message and then make our own determination about the best way forward, with a clear head, not one clouded by fear.
I’m sure you can relate: you have a problem you’re working on and you think it through and apply your mind and read books and ask for advice and you’re none the wiser.
And then someone asks you a question that makes you question some assumption you were making. Or reminds you of an experience you had that suddenly has a different meaning.
That question is the one that accessed your inner wisdom. And that’s what a good coach does.
It may help if your coach has some experience. It may belp if your coach knows your industry. But that’s not what makes the difference. What makes the difference is the question that unlocks your own inner wisdom. And a good #coach should be able to find those. #lightwalkercoaching #lightwalkercoach.
When I had bosses, I sometimes got the impression that I was bothering them. They said they had an open door policy, but I found I just didn’t use it very often.
As often as I could, I did whatever I needed to, without them. my goal was to get them to think about me as little as possible, and when they did think of me, to be grateful I was a self-starter.
I realise now that this is a trauma response. It’s an effort to “not get into trouble.” I was doing my work without them—but it meant they were doing their work without me.
When I became a boss, I tried something different. I believed everybody was doing their best and it was my job to celebrate every success my team members achieved. When they came into my office I wanted them to feel heard and supported. I never wanted them to feel like they were bothering me.
